Saturday, July 26, 2008

quick break!

A little something-something before I head off to sleep...

I HAVE A HOLGAAAAA!!!

Now isn't this the most wonderful 16th-birthday gift in the woooorld? Of course, next to love and world peace. But hey, it's still great!

It came in a nifty, little package when I arrived home from school today. It's so keeeyuuuut. I mean REALLY. It reminds me of those little picture-viewer things that come in different colors... the ones with animal pictures that turn 3D-like when illuminated by the sun.

I'm naming it Holga (pronounced: 'HAWL-gugh, yes you say the "gugh" the way you clear your throat of phlegm... and yeah, I just made up the pronunciation key) after my Hey Arnold days, and after... well... itself. Besides, Holga's a pretty cute name!]

And you guessed it right. I couldn't contain myself... I just had to throw in a roll of film. I actually did a little research on YouTube because I was afraid I might expose the film. (On second thought... I think I already did.) All the surfing worked though cause I successfully loaded my own roll of film without anyone's help... save of course the YouTube instructor.

I actually had to open, close and reopen the back cover because I was very, very, very unsure of what to do next. [This goes to show how horrible I am with manuals.] At one point, I had to enter the CR and check whether or not I correctly turned the knob, so I had to remove the back cover while the film was there, which might have led to the films exposure. (I wouldn't know 'till I get it developed.) I found out that I made some mistakes on the turning so the first 5 slides may have had accidental multiple exposures.

I shot around 8 slides, and I can't wait 'till I finish my roll! I'm so excited! But I'll have to concentrate on UPCAT for this week. Next week, seven moooore days! Ah, I can't wait!

As for now, I have to get some sleep cause I'm planning (let's cross our fingers) to wake-up later to review a little.

Labels: feel-good, happy burtdeeeey, putograper mode, random-ness

Sunday, July 20, 2008

turning into an old fart.

I think I'm starting to look really shabby. The pimples have been attempting to conquer my forehead. My hair has started getting frizzy, and my bangs, which my mother attempted to trim, are now very uneven. And without a doubt, I've gained extra calories from my oh-so-unhealthy diet.

I haven't gone shopping for the past two months, and much to my embarrassment, my shirts have found themselves worn too often. What to wear on weekends used to bother me a lot . But now, I open my closet and take out the first top I see. I haven't had a new set of pants in a year. I go out of the house no longer thinking whether or not my bag suits what I'm wearing.

I think I badly, badly need new clothes for my wardrobe. I have to get myself new shirts for the our review sessions, the upcoming UPCAT and Saturday night-outs. I need a new pair of shoes--- not just tsinelas, but real shoes. I have to get myself a new bag, and some good colored jeans because I feel so out-of-style. And I'm not just being the material-girl me. I know I need to shop.

Hmmm... maybe after the UPCAT. As for now, I'll continue the haggard look. I think it suits me as I cram my way to the entrance tests. I feel really, really bad. I know I should have reviewed weeks ago. This is why I'm starting to drown myself in all the vocab books, and ending up absorbing nothing at all.

I think I need a renewed sense of focus. You gotta make it Christie. You gotta be part of the Top 60. You gotta get into that quota course.

...God help me!

*****

And on a happier, more meaningful note, my cousin and I just had quite a successful photo shoot for her debut invitations. I'll be posting moremoremore soooon! This was actually very unprepared. We were supposed to shoot somewhere else. But we kept on postponing and postponing until we finally decided to do it today, especially since next week would be a busy review week for me, and 2 weeks from now would be the UPCAT. So we rushed the costumes, deviated from the original plans, and had on-the-spot concepts. And everything was shot in the house, with only the windows and our front porch for the lighting. Still, I'm happy with the results. :)

"Let the music take control... let the music take your soul."
A couple of old LP records from my great grandmother. Notice that most of them are Filipino records! 50's love!

A really earthy picture. This one makes me happy. :)

Labels: putograper mode, random-ness, rantrantrant, school girl, walang kwenta, woman-on-a-mission

Friday, July 11, 2008

From hellweek with love!

Aaaaaand finally, after two, long, almost-unbearable weeks since my last post, I'm back in full gear, with matching dark eyebags, pimples scattered all over my forehead, untrimmed bangs and loads of pressure settling at the back of my mind. Yes, tired, very! But nevertheless happy.

The past week has been irrationally hectic. I can't pinpoint the root of it all: is it the quizzes that seem to have been popping-out ever so often? Or the extracurricular activities I've committed myself to? Or maybe it's all those strange hormones that have suddenly been released since I turned 16? (I swear I feel quite strange) Or maybe it's all three rolled up into one massive snowball called pressure?

I remember myself getting frustrated over Accounting last Sunday. I spent two whole hours trying to sort out the assets and the liabilities and all the other dizzying jargons, only to end up with an unbalanced balance sheet (the irony of it all). The incident got me so upset... there I was spending two hours on something that turned out to be a total failure, while I had 5 other projects to work on. It made me so frustrated that I got totally carried away and broke down in the middle of our dinner. The tears started falling, first slowly, then continually, until I was weeping like mad. Of course, Mom and Dad panicked (after all, it's always such a sight to see me cry) but I think that at the back of their minds, they knew I needed it.

The following day, finding out my costume was unprepared, I started shouting at everyone. I wasn't going to host in front of the whole school without something good enough to wear! So I ordered a vast search for all my leggings and sweaters and vests. To top it all off, people were sending SMS's, asking where I was and why I was so late, when it was just 6:30 in the morning. So I ordered our manong to drive me to school ASAP, only to find out there were still 8 people present. And I lost the Math project I made the night before. Great.

But the funny thing is, despite the exhaustion and the fatigue and stress, despite the hosting stints and the practicing and the wild motor ride, despite the growing mountain of activities, despite the vectors and the income statements and the cosine functions, I still find myself genuinely happy. This is the kind of pressure I can live with. Yes, a bit draining. But it gives me a sense of fulfillment. I know I'm good at what I'm doing. I know I'm doing my job well. I know I'm trying to cope up with everything I have to do. Most of all, I know my God always gives me what He knows I can handle. All this sense of fulfillment, all the inspiration and drive and desire--- I know it all comes from the Source of All Sources.

I've been having what I call "my search for transcendence". I don't know if it makes much sense to you because even I myself am still trying to comprehend this. But I know I'm on my way to a deeper, more personal relationship with my God. It's been quite a struggle really, and it's been a conscious effort. But I know as well that I need the consciousness, I need the desire, I need to know that I want it to happen.

I'm happy with my busy life as of the moment. I know it's been tough, but as long as I can still have fun, as long as I can check my dying Friendster account every once in a while, as long as I still have time for things that I love, and as long as I can be at peace with myself, I'm great. Hey, I still found time to blog... I can't be that busy, right? ;)

*****

I've read a couple of short Filipino stories from a book I borrowed at the Library this afternoon. I might be able to squeeze in some art-time later. I'm crossing my fingers.

And to add some life into this little blog, let me post a couple of pictures from the past week: